“The biggest obstacle for people getting help with alcohol is secrecy, so open communication is paramount,” says Christopher “Chris” Akridge. Akridge is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW). He often works with alcoholics or people who are relatives of alcoholics to help them live their best lives.
Akridge was first intentionally introduced to the problem of alcoholism when he was a teacher. He had students who were seven or eight years old that wouldn’t feel safe at home because of their alcoholic parents. Their parents would often not provide them with food or care, leaving them to be neglected. This often leads to a sort of “role reversal,” Akridge said, adding that these kids were often “the adults of the house.” It would often fall upon the children to take care of themselves and their siblings if they had any. If children are left in this situation they can often become “parentafied,” or take on the role of being the parent of the household. This can lead to difficulties when these children grow up to be adults (Mosel). “When you're a child, your job is to be able to receive care and love,” Akridge said, “and they don't have that.” If children don’t learn how to receive this care and love, then they will grow up not knowing how to receive care and love. This can lead them to become cold, and it can be harder for them to learn how to develop meaningful relationships. They might take on the role of being a caregiver for others while never receiving care for themselves.
“When you're a child, your job is to be able to receive care and love,” Akridge said, “and they don't have that.” If children don’t learn how to receive this care and love, then they will grow up not knowing how to receive care and love.
At the beginning of his interview Akridge sounded very friendly. When he started talking about the issue, he got very serious just showing how much he cares about the topic. He used to be a sergeant in the marines and now works with other veterans. His wife, Chattanooga Christian School High School Academic Counselor Abby Akridge, said, “One thing that I think is really important about his job is that he is a veteran himself.” This means he has some insight into what life is like for the veterans he works with. Incidentally, veterans often struggle with alcoholism.
Akridge works mostly in an office but sometimes gets to go to colleges or military bases to help other clients. He usually meets with them one on one or sometimes in groups of five. While talking to him it became very apparent about how passionate he is about his job. “What keeps me doing what I am doing is, I love veterans,” he said. “I am a veteran myself, and I like walking with them as they find their best life.” Later, in the most matter of fact tone, Akridge said, “It’s the best job I’ve ever had.” His enthusiasm invites others to be all the more curious about what he has to say on the subject of alcoholic parents in the United States.
According to the National Library of Medicine, “children who observe self-medicating with alcohol in response to stress may perceive that such behavior as an effective way to confront distressing circumstances; they thus may be more likely to adopt the coping mechanism themselves” (Windle). This leads to an unideal cycle of alcoholism being passed down through the family (Windle). Ackridge confirmed that alcohol addiction is definitely a learned habit. He explained that the cycle of alcoholism in a family can be hard to break, but there are ways to do it. He seemed to firmly believe that to do this you need to take away the secrecy and be fully honest with yourself and your family. In fact, it seems like the best thing you can do to help an alcoholic with a family is encourage them to be honest and spread the word about the dangers of alcoholism. One of the things Akridge hopes to see most when working with his clients is open communication. It helps him to help his client when he knows things like how much they are drinking or how often. He has his clients ask, “If you are going out and getting drunk, what is that taking away from your kids?” He also talked about what it is important for you to do if you know someone who is struggling with alcoholism. The three main things to remember are: be open and honest, let them know you care, and see if you can make them aware of certain helpful resources. Equally important is not being quick to judge. If someone fears judgment then they might not be willing to talk about their issues.
This may sound cheesy, but children with an alcoholic parent in the United States are not alone: “1 in 5 adults in the US lived with an alcoholic relative while growing up” (Mosel). There are ways to receive help. This is the point of Akridges job: to help other people (Mosel). He is not only passionate about his job, but also recognizes its importance. Many people have come to depend on him; especially his most common group of clients who happen to be veterans. They come to him when they are looking for a better way to live life. He said, “I am working with those who have chosen to fight for our country, who have served our country, so I can serve them.”
Works Cited
Akridge, Christopher. Personal interview. 14 November 2024.
Mosel, Stacy. “Children of Alcoholics: Growing Up with an Alcoholic Parent.” American Addiction Centers, 18 June 2024, https://americanaddictioncenters.org/alcohol/support-recovery/child. Accessed 20 November 2024.
Pantiel, Travis. “Adult Children Of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families (ACOA).” Addiction Center, 17 July 2024, https://www.addictioncenter.com/treatment/support-groups/acoa/. Accessed 20 November 2024.
Windle, Michael. “Effect of Parental Drinking on Adolescents.” National Library of Medicine, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6876511/. Accessed 20 November 2024.
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